Thursday, March 21, 2013

Whoa, baby!

If two wasn't crazy enough, sometime in mid-October there will be THREE little Markins' in our home. Yep, I'm pregnant! Aside from, at this moment, feeling slightly defeated after having three of the most challenging days with Gracie this week, we are ecstatic!

We were actually a little bit surprised this time around, which makes this third pregnancy even more unique and exciting. Gracie hasn't been an easy baby and after she was born I told God I needed at least a year before I got pregnant again. (Wasn't it nice of him to listen to me?) As Jeff has been traveling more, and some days, it still feels like we're adjusting to two, we started talking about waiting another year. In hindsight, I'm pretty sure I can hear God laughing because the next day I took a test and saw that little, blue plus sign. Jeff traveled a lot that month and things just seemed slow, you know what I mean? Surprise! We're having a baby!

I actually really enjoy being pregnant. I love the miracle that it is and don't take it for granted. I'm relieved and grateful that God has spared me from longing for a baby and not being able to conceive. For us, getting pregnant has been easy. It seems so basic, but I know it is a challenging and painful process for many these days. We have known so, so many friends who have suffered loss or infertility. Praise be to God that we have not. Although, I do need to remind myself regularly that this baby is His from the git-go.

Our first pregnancy was exciting because of all of the firsts. I was dying to buy maternity clothes, feel little kicks, understand what people meant when they said "I feel as big as a house" (which I did). Our second pregnancy was exciting because, after losing my dad, we had new life to look forward to. Would this baby be a brother for Noah, or would it be a new experience, a girl? It felt new all over again once we found out that it was, in fact, a girl.

This time, it's just exciting for reasons I can't even explain. Maybe it's the surprise aspect, I don't know, but it feels new yet again. Whether we had a preference or not on sex the last two times, there is NO pressure this time. It just feels like a really special bonus baby! We're comfortable doing the boy thing and just as comfortable doing the girl thing. I will say, my instinct is that it's a boy. I have had some nausea this time around just as I had with Noah and I'm in love with salty foods again. With Gracie, all I wanted was sweets and sleep!

No one in either of our families have ventured to three kids, so this is also exciting. We're "heading into uncharted waters" as Jeff likes to say. That's slightly frightening when I say it out loud, but we have such great community and support around us, I know we will be okay. One kid had it's crazy moments, 2 has definitely had it's crazy moments, so I know to expect that 3 will also have it's crazy moments. I have had several people tell me that the third is the easiest, and I'll admit, I'm clinging to that a little bit.

I'm 9.5 weeks now and keeping it a secret was too hard. Throw in that fact that I think I might be showing already and it was time to tell.